Year in Movie Reviews #5: 2002

My Favorite Flicks

Spider Man – Spiderman is a great flick that manages to stay true to the character and story but not take itself too seriously. Sam Raimi made a well crafted superhero movie here.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – Wow! A fantasy movie sequel the following year? I thought these movies took three years in between each one! Amazing storytelling, character driven plot, continuity between films… George, are you taking notes yet?

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones – Smooth CGI, perfect pacing, amazing acting… oh wait, I’m not talking about “The Two Towers” anymore! This one is plagued with problems just like “The Phantom Menace,” but I still love lightsabers and I’m still a Star Wars fanboy, so… suck it! I liked this one. The action is superb, and Obi-Wan’s storyline is really quite good. He’s like a Jedi detective. I’ve definitely watched this movie a few times skipping the Anikan/Padme scenes, though. Bad casting for both characters. And let’s not forget that Yoda gets to kick some ass at the end! Now only if George Lucas would release Special Editions of The Phantom Menace with no Jar Jar Binks and Attack of the Clones with no Anikan/Padme interactions and Christian Bale as Anikan, then I’d be happy!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – Another solid entry in the Harry Potter film series. Sadly, Richard Harris, the character who played Dumbledore, died before this movie, and was replaced with the barely passable Michael Gambdon for this film. This was also the last Harry Potter film to be scored by John Williams, who did a masterful job as always.

Signs – A fresh idea for an alien invader movie, but this movie’s real strength is its characters. Great performances throughout from the scary parts to the charmingly funny.

Minority Report – Precognition Crime action/drama. This movie manages to raise interesting questions while simultaneously being a righteous action flick. Solid cast too.

Insomnia – This one was alright. It was cool to see Robin Williams in a different role for once.

The Count of Monte Cristo – The best Action/Adventure film of this decade. This is the rare movie that is better than the book. They managed to stay faithful and enhance the story. Brilliant!

Collateral Damage – An Arnold revenge flick. Not his best, but still enjoyable.

Super Troopers – This was my introduction to Broken Lizard. This is laugh out loud funny from beginning to end.

The Pianist – This movie is intense. It was based on a true account of one’s experience living through the Holocaust, and it is truly dire from start to finish. Shocking, heart-breaking, and sad, but very good.


Guilty Pleasures

Blade 2 – Not a great movie. Ok, not a good movie, but its still fun watching Blade kick ass. The rubbery CGI scenes are particularly bad in this one.

Jackass: The Movie – This was the extreme stuff that didn’t make it on tv. The “Rental Car Demolition Derby” was my favorite. Could have done without the “Yellow Snowcone” bit though…

National Lampoon’s Van Wilder – Most people’s introduction to Ryan Reynolds was when he talked that college jumper off of the roof of a dorm… with no pants on. Shallow, but an acceptable college party/rebellion movie.

Jason X – This movie is horrible. Jason in space? Yes, they actually made this movie! This movie has one of the most vicious murders I’ve ever seen. He dunks a scientist’s (the hottest scientist I’ve ever seen, btw) head into a sink of liquid nitrogen, freezing her head. Then he smashes her face on the counter, exploding it into a million pieces. Disgusting, shocking, but I have to admit… totally bad ass.


Biggest Surprises

My Big Fat Greek Wedding – It’s a chick flick, but this one’s ok. It’s got some good humor for the guys too. Windex cures everything.

The Ring – I don’t like horror films, but I love this movie. It’s a supernatural horror film that has a story that sucks you in, cool special effects, and the best sound editing for a horror film I’ve ever heard. That high-pitched squeal that goes off when someone sees the ring gives me chills every time I see it. EVERY TIME! I’ve seen the movie at least a dozen times. My brother once told me that he wasn’t scared because it was just a little girl. Yeah, a possessed demon child that stalks you for an entire week, finally killing you by coming through your TV and drowning you where you stand. Just a little girl… please.

The Bourne Identity – Great. Here comes another James Bond film… That’s what I thought when I heard about The Bourne Identity. I was so wrong. This movie rocks. A specially trained American Assassin with amnesia is a great concept, and this movie was well executed. This one sort of started the action with gritty realism that’s current today. Think “Casino Royale” or “Taken” and you’ll know what I mean.

John Q. – I thought this movie was going to suck. I guess I’m just a sucker for movies with a protagonist who takes hostages for noble reasons and gets away with it. Did I mention that my life stops when “The Negotiator” is on TV?

About Schmidt – Good flick about a guy who is searching for meaning after retiring and losing his wife. This one is heart wrenching, but very well done.


Biggest Disappointments

Ice Age – I hate Scrant. He’s not charming, he’s not endearing. Just get the nut or die already!!

Die Another Day – They took the CGI stuff too far on this one. All in all, it’s not terrible, but I didn’t like it as much as the previous James Bond installments with Pierce Brosnan.

XXX – This movie is retarded. I like the idea. A “James Bond” type secret agent won’t be able to penetrate today’s criminals, so they have to go with somebody who walks the line of justice and crime. The dialogue is hokey, and the action is completely unbelievable. There’s suspending disbelief, and then there’s riding the short bus.

The Sum of All Fears – Ben Affleck is not Jack Ryan. I guess Harrison Ford was too busy making K19 The Widowmaker.

Men in Black 2 – Bad CGI, a weak story, and making the small little smoking aliens and the dog main characters “alienated” me from this one. Geez, no pun intended!

Gangs of New York – I know. It’s Scorcese. But every time I try to watch it, one of two things always happen... a.) It makes me depressed or b.) It bores me to death.

Spider – Speaking of boring me to death… This movie is a look into the mind of a mad man. Is this reality? I don’t know, but with the slow pacing, I was just anxious for the movie to get to the point. I found this movie in no way entertaining.

Mr. Deeds – The movie starts with a helicopter hovering above Mount Everest. I’m no physicist, but that’s not possible. That immediately disconnected me from the film. It’s like the film actually says to the audience “Turn off your brain because this movie is going to be REALLY STUPID.”

(Mr. Deeds Addendum) Ok, a helicopter recently landed on top of Mount Everest in 2005. Three years after this shit stain of a movie came out. Here’s a link for more information on flying helicopters near Mount Everest… http://tinyurl.com/c843wv


Didn’t See

Chicago
8 Mile
Y Tu Mama Tambien
Adaptation