Well, I'm back. I recently rediscovered my blog, and found it to be a modern day memoir. It's also a place to cut loose and rip on bad movies, ha ha! So, without further ado, here is the conclusion to my 10 year movie reviews. I'll be posting them every Thursday until they're done (1998 through 2008 as scheduled).
2003
My Favorite Flicks
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King – With this last installment, The Lord of the Rings solidified itself as the greatest movie trilogy of all time. Sorry, Randle.
Finding Nemo – An instant classic. Funny and charming.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl – Amazing adventure, daredevil characters, top notch CGI, and a solid story.
The Matrix Reloaded – I loved this installment of the Matrix Trilogy. Whereas the first Matrix movie resided primarily in the matrix, this movie showed us more of the real world. It felt like a necessary addition to the story. Incredible action throughout with one of the most amazing freeway chases of all time. The fight with the 100 Mr. Smiths got a little “CGI rubbery,” but this movie rocked my sack!
Bruce Almighty – What kind of hijinks ensues when you make Jim Carrey God? Bruce Almighty answers that question.
X2: X-men United – Definitely the best in the series. Excellent mutant action and a great story. This was director Brian Singer’s last installment in the series, which was unfortunate, because it ends with the biggest cocktease in movie history. A giant phoenix in the water that we will never see on the big screen.
Elf – Cute and funny holiday film. Will Ferrell doing his thing… as an elf in New York city. This movie has definitely become a modern Christmas classic.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines – I like this movie a lot. It’s a great addition to the series. Yes, it’s way too campy (“She’ll be back” and “Talk to the hand” come to mind) and let’s face it, the Terminatrix was pretty stupid, but the core characters and story were pretty good. I especially liked Nick Stahl as John Connor. He was the perfect bridge between the whiny teenage wimp John Connor (Edward Furlong in T2) and the hero of all mankind (Christian Bale in the upcoming T4). Not as good as T2, which is a masterpiece, but at least on level or better than the original Terminator.
The Italian Job – This movie is in a word… fun. The director, F. Gary Gray improved and updated the quirky 60s movie into a slick, stylish flick with loads of humor, action, and drama. Solid cast. Good shit.
Cold Mountain – Sort of a chick flick. It’s pretty good. I hated seeing the bad guys kill the musicians. What a bunch of assholes!
School of Rock – Jack Black is perfect for this role. This one is close to my heart as I teach kids how to rock daily. Very funny comedy. Jack Black: What bands do you like? Kid in Class: Christina Aguilara Jack Black: Wrong.
Old School – This one has grown on me over the years. The twist on this college party/rebellion flick is that the pledge members don’t have to be enrolled in the college. You’re my boy, Blue!
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 – Part 1 of Quentin Terrantino’s revenge story about the Bride is entertaining as hell. Some of the dialogue is a little unnatural, particularly Uma Thurman in the first scene of the film, but this is forgivable because she rocks for the rest of it.
Once Upon A Time in Mexico – This is another movie that sort of grew on me. It’s not as good as Desperado, but it probably has the most ambitious plot and characters of any of the Mariachi movies. Johnny Depp stole the show, of course.
Runaway Jury – This movie is eccentric, but I dig it.
28 Days Later – Cool, intense Zombie movie. It’s a terrifying notion that our human flaws may in fact be worse than flesh eating zombies.
Monster – Charlize Theron is the most beautiful woman in movies today, and she absolutely nailed this role. If you ever thought about seeking the services of a prostitute and need to be convinced that’s a bad idea… just watch “Monster.”
A Mighty Wind – A Folk version of Spinal Tap. The music, the dialogue, the characters, everything in this movie is hysterical!!
Guilty Pleasures
Love Actually – I recently saw this film and was pleasantly surprised. It filled that holiday movie void for me this year perfectly. Bill Nighy as the underdog washed up Mick Jagger character was genius. This is like the “Crash” of chick flicks.
Phone Booth – This film went out on a limb and had its main character in a phone booth for 90 minutes. That’s pretty bold and impressive considering the managed to make this one entertaining.
Bend it Like Beckham – Chick Flick. This one wasn’t bad.
Biggest Surprises
Anger Management – It’s typical Adam Sandler fair, but Jack Nicholson is brilliant as always. What’s not to love about those two singing West Side Story while stopping rush hour traffic on a busy bridge? “I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and…. (pause) GAY!!!”
Something’s Gotta Give – This movie is endearing and funny. Again, it’s another chick flick on my list. I’ve seen it a handful of times, but this movie consistently delivers. It starts to get good when Nicholson and Keaton are paired together. The soundtrack is excellent super chill music.
The Last Samurai – Tom Cruise… as the “Last Samurai???” Right. It sounds ridiculous on paper, but this is an epic redemption movie. Very cool.
Big Fish – A friend of mine told me this movie would suck, so I didn’t see it. He also told me that Kill Bill sucked. Yeah, we’re not friends anymore. This movie has a fascinating story with a distinct style all its own. I dug it.
Paycheck – A movie with Ben Affleck that doesn’t suck?? This IS a surprise. I liked the idea for this one and it is well executed. His memory is erased by the company he worked for, but before it was erased, he left himself clues to follow. Cool idea, cool movie.
Underworld – Cool concept of Vampires versus Werewolves with a style that is unique. Kate Beckinsale is the hottest Hollwood chick in black leather since Trinity from the Matrix! It’s not too often an original action flick appears, but this one delivers.
Biggest Disappointments
The Matrix: Revolutions – I have an idea to end the Iraq war. Let’s just all agree to live together in harmony. That would work. FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!
Hulk – This one jumps over the border of ridiculousness about half way through and doesn’t look back. It makes me angry, and well, you know the rest…
Seabiscuit – Yawn. Nothing about this movie grabbed me in any way. It was a highly acclaimed movie that frankly bored the crap out of me.
American Wedding – Half of the actors from the first two movies decided not to come back for this one. Now, granted, they were all of the weaker characters in the story, but their absence was missed because despite being minor characters, they brought balance to the more interesting characters. Steve Stiffler is a better character in small chunks as opposed to being 90 minutes of comic relief. There are some funny moments, but all in all, it’s definitely the worst of the American Pie movies (not counting the atrocious spin-off movies!).
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World – This will probably surprise anybody reading this list, but I really couldn’t get into this one. I’ve tried to enjoy it three times now and every time I find the movie boring. The story moves at a snail’s pace, and I’m just not engaged enough by the characters to care.
Mystic River – This is another one of those supposedly “amazing” films that was mediocre. Great cast, but I didn’t really like the story and found the movie a little contrived.
Lost in Translation – I’m just going to say it. Sofia Coppola is not a great director. She’s not a good director. This movie didn’t make any sense to me. It wasn’t funny, charming, or interesting. It was dull and lifeless at best. Virgin Suicides and now Lost In Translation. Stay tuned for her next movie in 2010 called “Watching Paint Dry” starring Jim Carrey.
Stuck on You – This one has some funny parts and a decent idea, but it doesn’t hold up. I actually bought this movie because it was cheaper to buy than to rent. I guess the joke’s on me.
The Core – Are you kidding me? I can’t believe they made this piece of crap. It was so atrociously bad and inaccurate that my wife used it in her geology class to point out how many things they got wrong. You might like “The Core” if you like smelling glue and eating paint chips.
Didn’t See
Freaky Friday
Daredevil
Mona Lisa Smile
Identity
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2 comments:
Bruce Almighty was terrible. Jennifer Aniston was shallow & fakey...especially in the scene where she's "praying". The humor was predictable, which sucked because the plot idea is actually fun.
Good point about the Phoenix in X2.
Please spell check names...it's Tarantino
Master & Commander is an awesome movie...epic naval battles off the coast of South America? Yes please! You shame your navy family by not liking this film.
p_girl, ok, you have a point about Bruce Almighty. I tend to enjoy it anyway, so I guess that makes it more of a guilty pleasure.
I have two things to correct spellcheck wise. Both pointed out today by the women in my life (p_girl and Mom).
Master and Commander still sucks. Watch as hearty men sail the sea. The eat together. They play stringed instruments together. They wait around on deserted islands for more men. They occasionally fire a canon at the evil... God, who cares...
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