Year in Movie Reviews #7: 2004

Ask, and ye shall receive! I got a lot of requests to finish my series of Year in Movie Reviews, so here is the latest installment. Enjoy all the creamy goodness of 2004!

2004

My Favorite Flicks

Shrek 2 – Great follow up. Advances the story line of the first movie and introduces more great characters. The Shrek series is one of the best modern fairy tales of the last decade (addendum – if it stopped here!).

Spider-Man 2 – Another sequel that not only lives up to the original but actually surpasses it. This was honestly one of the best movie-going experiences I’ve ever had, especially when it comes to action flicks. I’m a little sick of it now because it seems to be on the FX channel 24/7, but it’s a great film.

The Incredibles – Wonderful super hero kids film that anyone can enjoy. Great idea for a story, and it is extremely funny.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – I was really bummed out when I heard that Richard Harris, the actor who played Albus Dumbledore, died shortly after the second movie. Michael Gambon fills the role in this one, and is adequate, but somewhat lacking. That aside, this movie is well executed, and I really enjoyed it.

The Bourne Supremacy – This is a great action flick. Lots of energy, lots of tension and suspense, and a good story.

Ocean’s Twelve – It’s a bit campy, but Ocean’s Twelve continues the tradition of the first film. I’m a sucker for fun, humorous crime capers, what can I say?

Collateral – This is a fresh idea for a movie in that 90% of it takes place in a cab. I really dug this one despite Tom Cruise’s clearly unnatural grey hair.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 – Quentin Terantino at the top of his game. Great storytelling with an ending that satisfies. I only wish I could have been this satiated after the final Matrix movie. Damn Wachowskis.

The Chronicles of Riddick – This is a definite upgrade from the first film (Pitch Black) and it was a really kick ass film in the theater because of its over the top action and epic scale. Even the polygony, clearly CGI tigers didn’t detract from this movie. The movie has an open ending and I really hope they make a direct sequel (with Vin Diesel).

Finding Neverland – Good dramatic movie about the author of Peter Pan. It is sort of a chick-flick so fellas, beware!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – I loved this movie. Awesome cast, great story. This is definitely a standout movie from 2004.

Team America: World Police – Excuse me while I piss my pants laughing. Aside from being a very funny movie, it is the most epic movie involving puppets of all time.

Shaun of the Dead – Now that I’m done pissing my pants laughing, it’s time to shit my pants laughing! It’s a romantic comedy… with zombies. PURE GENIUS!!!!


Guilty Pleasures

Troy – This one falls short in a lot of ways, but it is an enjoyable watch, and I dug it.


Biggest Surprises

Meet the Fockers – This was a big surprise for me because I didn’t like the first movie, but I loved this one! Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand were welcome additions to the cast. They brought with them a more light hearted humor that was more evenly spread around. Meet the Parents was like watching The Passion of the Christ, whereas this movie is what the first one should have been… a charming and funny comedy.

Dodgeball – This movie is one of the two movies from this year that has no business being as good as it is. It is shockingly good and hysterical. I loved every minute of it. It’s probably one of the best slapstick comedies of the decade.

Eurotrip – This is the other movie from this year that really soared way past expectations. “Scotty doesn’t know” is a fantastically funny song that gets a laugh every time it pops up in the movie in various incarnations. Entertaining and very funny.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy – I wasn’t a Will Ferrell fan until I saw this movie. Before I saw Anchorman, I found him overbearing mostly, but he was really on his game for this movie. Outstanding cast with awesome cameos in the anchorman street rumble. You could quote just about any line from the movie and get a laugh. “Ah San Diego. Drink it in…. Discovered by the Germans… it means ‘A Whale’s Vagina.’”

Sideways – A huge surprise is a gross understatement for this movie. This is a phenomenal movie about two friends and their adventure. I didn’t know what to think about seeing a movie about wine tasting, but that is only small part of the picture (though it is huge thematically and metaphorically). One of the best dramatic comedies I’ve ever seen. I laugh really hard every time I watch it. Great soundtrack too.

Saw – I don’t like horror movies, but I loved Saw. By now, everyone knows the story and twist, but I love when a new idea for a movie comes along. Two guys stuck in a room chained up with only a hack saw… that isn’t strong enough to cut the chains. This is a sadistic but still compelling story.

Secret Window – Campy as hell, and I hated it on the first watch. This one really grew on me however. It’s a movie about the protagonist’s slow descent into madness that is actually pretty well executed. The last shot of the movie couldn’t be more “corny”, figuratively and literally.

Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle – This was a damn funny comedy. Neil Patrick Harris had a fantastic cameo. He only had a minute or two of screen time and just a few lines, but it was pure comic gold.

9 Songs – They go to a concert, they screw, they talk about glaciers. They go to a concert, they screw, they talk about glaciers. Rinse, lather, repeat… 9 times. Nothing really happens in this movie, but there are a few things going for it. I like how this movie seems like a documentary of two people in love. Very simple idea, but different. Not weird conflicts, no ninjas, no hammy jokes, or unrealistic situations, just a simple realistic love story. The other thing going for this is that it’s a porno. That’s right, I said it. This “art” film is a porno, simple as that. What else would you call two people having graphic sex over and over during a film?


Biggest Disappointments

Van Helsing – This movie is plagued by cheesy special effects and campy characters that I don’t care about. Enough with the damsel in distress! I just want to see Kate Beckinsale kick some ass already.

The Village – Didn’t like this one. Saw the twist coming a mile away and didn’t really connect with the main characters.

The Grudge – This movie has some of the most disturbing images I’ve ever seen. It’s one of the first movies that I can remember that really exploited digital technology to create horror. It’s too bad that the worst horror in this movie comes from the nonsensical plot and terrifyingly awful acting.

Alien vs. Predator – Two awesome franchises come together in one crappy movie. The violence and seriousness were toned way down to PG-13 to try to get more people to come, which definitely hurt this movie. To it’s credit, I did like a lot of the characters in this, but they were all killed off right away, and the story takes an idiotic turn that is just plain awful.

The Forgotten – Talk about a weak ass plot. Aliens perform tests on humans like lab rats. I’m not kidding. That’s the plot. This movie is best left forgotten!

Hellboy – I’ve tried many times to like this, but this movie seems to drag on and on, the action is not exciting, and I don’t really feel any sympathy for any of the main characters or villains.

Hero – Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2: Reloaded.

Napolean Dynomite – This movie sucks. Decent character, but not compelling enough to keep me engaged for 90 grueling minutes of non-hilarious acts. The dance scene was the only highlight, but it takes 85 minutes of the aforementioned 90 to get to.

Napolean Dynomite – Just to drive it home. I hated this movie. It’s not good sober, and it's not even good drunk.

House of Flying Daggers – Wow! Look at all of amazing colors! And check out the confusing story line with no explanation of why the characters have special abilities, are unstoppable and insist on having pointless over-the-top fight scenes. I keep trying to like this genre, and it keeps falling short.

Kung Fu Hustle – This movie makes fun of all the “Crouching Tiger” movies, therefore, I should have loved it. It was just like watching one of those movies, though, and one or two funny moments aside, it was just as tedious.

Garfield – I’ve seen 5 minutes of this. That’s all I could take, really. It was silly, of course, but the main problem is the glaring contrast between a digital Garfield and real animals. It’s just awkward to go back and forth like that. Either go with digital animals or real ones, but don’t mix them. Even Bill Murray (who voices the character of Garfield) admits that this movie was horse shit.


Didn’t See

The Passion of the Christ
The Day After Tomorrow
National Treasure
The Polar Express
The Aviator
Million Dollar Baby
Ray
King Arthur
Open Water
Hotel Rwanda